My understanding of the other half of the buddha's teaching on absence of a creator god: there is no individual self. "We" are just the result of habitual reactions to our environment--sensory stimulus, conscious awareness, conditioned response of liking, disliking, or neutrality. We grasp, crave, and cling to keep stimuli we like, feel aversion towards stimuli we don't like. Buddha taught these reactions of craving and aversion are the source of our suffering--all is as it is. There is a time for compassionate intervention to correct ignorance, but it is nothing personal. No individual self, no immortal soul. When there are no more conditioned responses, only moral actions flowing from wisdom in the present moment, we are free of the bonds of our kamma and can then choose to dissolve the body-mind through physical death and mental liberation into nibbana (nirvana), or stay alive in this body and just hang out in bliss, or reach out and teach others like Gautama the Buddha did.
Raised Catholic in a predominantly Christian country (USA), ideas of no-self, no-soul, no-sin (only ignorance) feel revolutionary and are difficult to grasp. My tendency is to focus on the similarities--perhaps the imortal christian soul returning to God is the same experience as the illusory individual mind returning to the emptiness of Nibbana? Talking with friends and family back home, I've been reconsidering the truth in Jesus's teachings and the wisdom that may be available by reading the bible and (re?)developing a personal relationship with God/a higher power.
I was sitting on a plane yesterday--still such a surreal experience for me...journeys that once took days, months, or years are crossed in the span of hours! As we taxied out to the runway and I watched the ridiculous amount of air-traffic through LAX, I wondered about the impact of jet exhaust on the temparature of the atmosphere and global warming. I wonder if anyone is studying this, but not quite enough to do a library search yet or contact my atmospherics prof at UCSC...
anyway, I was sitting on the plane and praying for guidance to realize God's will in my life--a bit of an awkward process as I return from 9 months in Thailand trying to figure out what the Buddha was talking about and if no-God no-self feels true in my personal experience--but at the end of my little prayer, I bent down and looked at the floor under my airplane seat and found a 1" tall gold-colored pin of an angel carrying a small harp...Be an angel unto others. Sounds good to me for now.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Clarity
Just re-read marecycles.blogspot.com--an incomplete narative of my cycle journey half-way across Utah in March of 2005. Then re-read bits of Wan Phra remembrances...I saw much more clarity in the previous journey, following my heart across the desert of Utah into the unknown, than I see in what I just wrote about my home-coming from Thailand. What will it take to get me back on track to following the guidance in my heart? Ask with grattitude, and a way shall be made...
Wan Phra remembrances; grattitude to teachers
Judging by the moon, looks like yesterday was Wan Phra lek--a buddhist holy day celebrating the quarter moon. I fed my friend's horses dinner and walked across her backyard in the moonlight with a touch of nostalgia. Missing the flowers, candles, and incense I would have offered to the Buddha in the land I called home just two weeks ago. I remember my teachers with deep grattitude as I transition back to "regular" sociaty. The Abbot's 84th birthday is tomorrow--many happy returns to Ajan! I hope the festivities run smoothly as thousands of monks, nuns, and lay people from all over Thailand come to pay respect to him. I am not there to help, but I offer him the growth in my heart and progress in the purification of the mind in place of my physical presence. Much as I struggled, I am grateful for the blessing that he took me in for those 7+ months.
I am also grateful to be home. Returning to the states, the first few days were strictly survival-mode as I caught up from 11 hours of cumulative sleep in the previous 6 days. I felt relatively functional except for one day--a much quicker recovery than my last return from Thailand, where I was mentally infused with molassas for about a week! After this recovery period, I reveled in "freedom" as the 6th and 7th precepts went out the window. Nothing too crazy, just singing to myself without guilt and eating dinner again coupled with frequent grazing in over-stocked American snack-drawers, panteries, and enormous refridgerators. ;) I had some concerns what friends would think of me returning home 30 pounds lighter than when I left, but looks like that's not going to be an issue anymore. d'oh.
I'm still acknowledging some and walking and sitting about 20-30 minutes a day. Keeping 5 precepts pretty well. I do occassionally miss the simple robes and the alms rounds, meditating full time and participating in the quirky temple community. I also feel happy to be back amongst friends and family. I think I made the right decision to come home. We shall see what hindsight reveals as I continue down the path. I'm wanting to do another 10 day meditation course, but I think I should get back to the Utah desert first. I think it would help. I still don't see the "point" of existance in this body-mind. I still itch to get moving (probably heading to central america with some friends in November--Costa Rica, maybe Honduras, and Guatamala). I still long to see a deeper truth.
Malls I do not miss. My friend and I went to a mall to buy her 5 year old son a birthday present. That was sensory overload...The terrible piped music, the garish contrasting colors, the salespeople waiting like sharks for unguarded passersby...yikes. The worst of it was eating "lunch" in the "food" court--an island of tables and chairs surrounded by about 20 fastfood chain restaurants. I got a falafal gyro and my friend bought her kids corndogs. We ate our meal surrounded by a group of disabled adults apparently on a field trip and numerous young couples with strangely colored hair and piercings all over their faces. Grossly overweight American zombie-consumers abounded and fear began to well up... I tried to acknowledge seeing seeing seeing, hearing hearing hearing, feeling feeling feeling--bring my attention to the present moment and its transient nature, but it was overpowering. I couldn't stay in there long. I was so grateful for my first breath outside again. I miss the desert.
So I guess I'm still succeptible to my environment. Emotionally, I feel much the same as I did in Thailand. Much more stable than before I left. Much less overall anger. Still some sadness and fear. Still feeling a bit aimless and dissatisfied. Still walking the path. Trying to explain what the buddha taught to friends and their families (some of which have never heard of him before). I imagine the feelings of a Christian missionary in the remote lands of SE Asia as I bring home the message of liberation and the path to get there as I learned it in Thailand as taught by the Buddha so long ago.
I thank Phra Chai and Phra Noah for their teachings. They are a big part of my life-changing experience in Thailand and my time as a Buddhist Maechee. I am very grateful for all you've taught me so far and hope the lessons continue until I get it.
On the path to liberation, may you be well and happy and peaceful!
Thank you for your teachings to me and to all your students,
much as I complained and still have doubts, I am grateful for the positive change.
You are doing great work for the minds of this world.
I am also grateful to be home. Returning to the states, the first few days were strictly survival-mode as I caught up from 11 hours of cumulative sleep in the previous 6 days. I felt relatively functional except for one day--a much quicker recovery than my last return from Thailand, where I was mentally infused with molassas for about a week! After this recovery period, I reveled in "freedom" as the 6th and 7th precepts went out the window. Nothing too crazy, just singing to myself without guilt and eating dinner again coupled with frequent grazing in over-stocked American snack-drawers, panteries, and enormous refridgerators. ;) I had some concerns what friends would think of me returning home 30 pounds lighter than when I left, but looks like that's not going to be an issue anymore. d'oh.
I'm still acknowledging some and walking and sitting about 20-30 minutes a day. Keeping 5 precepts pretty well. I do occassionally miss the simple robes and the alms rounds, meditating full time and participating in the quirky temple community. I also feel happy to be back amongst friends and family. I think I made the right decision to come home. We shall see what hindsight reveals as I continue down the path. I'm wanting to do another 10 day meditation course, but I think I should get back to the Utah desert first. I think it would help. I still don't see the "point" of existance in this body-mind. I still itch to get moving (probably heading to central america with some friends in November--Costa Rica, maybe Honduras, and Guatamala). I still long to see a deeper truth.
Malls I do not miss. My friend and I went to a mall to buy her 5 year old son a birthday present. That was sensory overload...The terrible piped music, the garish contrasting colors, the salespeople waiting like sharks for unguarded passersby...yikes. The worst of it was eating "lunch" in the "food" court--an island of tables and chairs surrounded by about 20 fastfood chain restaurants. I got a falafal gyro and my friend bought her kids corndogs. We ate our meal surrounded by a group of disabled adults apparently on a field trip and numerous young couples with strangely colored hair and piercings all over their faces. Grossly overweight American zombie-consumers abounded and fear began to well up... I tried to acknowledge seeing seeing seeing, hearing hearing hearing, feeling feeling feeling--bring my attention to the present moment and its transient nature, but it was overpowering. I couldn't stay in there long. I was so grateful for my first breath outside again. I miss the desert.
So I guess I'm still succeptible to my environment. Emotionally, I feel much the same as I did in Thailand. Much more stable than before I left. Much less overall anger. Still some sadness and fear. Still feeling a bit aimless and dissatisfied. Still walking the path. Trying to explain what the buddha taught to friends and their families (some of which have never heard of him before). I imagine the feelings of a Christian missionary in the remote lands of SE Asia as I bring home the message of liberation and the path to get there as I learned it in Thailand as taught by the Buddha so long ago.
I thank Phra Chai and Phra Noah for their teachings. They are a big part of my life-changing experience in Thailand and my time as a Buddhist Maechee. I am very grateful for all you've taught me so far and hope the lessons continue until I get it.
On the path to liberation, may you be well and happy and peaceful!
Thank you for your teachings to me and to all your students,
much as I complained and still have doubts, I am grateful for the positive change.
You are doing great work for the minds of this world.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
A Stop in Seoul and Settling Stateside
I no longer feel at home in southern california. Flying into Los Angeles, my guts said YUCK! Get me outta here!!! I think I want out of this whole world, though, not just any geographic place. Shortly after arrival, I headed south to visit one of my oldest friends. I am having fun riding her horses and playing with her kids. Her son's 5th birthday party was yesterday and it was good to catch up with her family. They are Christian and hoping I will find solace in the scriptures in the bible...I am appreciative of truth in any form and welcome all teachings crossing my path (with a healthy dose of discression). In trying to explain Buddhism to them, I think I talked too much about the idea of Being Nobody, Going Nowhere rather than Do good, Avoid evil, Purify the mind. I still have to develop a good 2-minute version of my experience in Thailand...
Seoul was very nice to visit, but I don't want to live there. Too many tall ugly buildings. I like wild places. My neighbor at Wat Phradhat Sri Chomtong gave me a map and suggested some places to visit on my stop-over, but I cleverly packed said information into my checked baggage which I could not access in Seoul (oops), so I spent the wee hours of the morning reading tourist information and studying the maps provided at the airport while the sun climbed out of bed and into a gorgeous cloud spotted blue sky. Just before I finished reading the literature, the women working at the tourist info counter arrived and helped me before they were officially open. I explained my interests, and she circled the main temples in down-town Seoul, wrote down the English language guided tour times where appliciable, and showed me a more remote old-style temple which I decided to visit first. She gave me a map book that included some essential Korean phrases (I tried to learn Thank you, but was not very successful) and a beautiful color booklette about Korean food including some recipies I'm excited to try. She even wrote "vegetarian" on a little paper for me. Very helpful!
I took the express bus into town, walked around the narrow streets and sleepy markets a little, found a small breakfast shop where I got a veggie sushi roll, miso soup, and some pickeled radish slices for 1000 Won (about a dollar/40 Bhat)! I felt pretty satisfied, but I bought and ate a second sushi roll because it was really yummie and cheap and I didn't know when I would next get the chance! This drew some funny looks from the women running the shop, but my tastebuds were happy. I then took another bus up a hill to a Mahayana temple with some Beautiful lotus ponds and coincidentally (synchronicitously?)arrived just in time for the mid-day prayer service. About 13 middle aged women were following a big mahayana monk in chanting, so I pulled up a mat and tried to do what they did. It was very different than the Therevadan morning and evening chanting I am used to. Much more rigorous (with standing and prostration meditation chanting as well as sitting!). I got tired!! funny...
Then I went and hiked up the "mountain" behind the temple (ele about 1800' I think) and down the other side to the subway. En route I met several very nice smiling korean people, including a man with a California tee-shirt on, so I asked him for directions to the subway. Turns out he did his grad work in Economics in the states and he was headed for the subway, too, so he helped me find it, as well as a yummie restaurant where I could find vegetarian bimbibap (spelling?)--a traditional korean dish with lots of veggies and pickeled seaweed and a fried egg over a bed of rice served with two kinds of kimchee (pickeled cabbage), one of which was too spicy for me to eat, even after 9 months in Thailand! Very yummie! Satisfied again with my meal, I bought two more veggie sushi rolls for an evening snack and headed back to the subway which I rode over to the royal palace (I forget which one). I arrived during the changing of the guard and marveled at the incredible number of enormous (2-4' diameter?) trees that went into the palace's construction. yikes! After wandering a third of the grounds and looking around in some of the ornately painted buildings, I ran out of time and left early to catch the train back to the airport to finish the long flight home to the states (spending 11 hours on the plane and arriving in LA 3 hours before I left Korea, thanks to the time difference and the international date line).
I am happy to be back on familiar soil and eating familiar food. Last time I was home, thai food still seemed like a tastey idea. This time around, if I have eaten my last Thai meal ever, I feel ok with that. ;) I'm very grateful to my friend for giving me space to relax, more than enough horses to ride, and even a few house and horse chores so I feel useful but not stressed. I am looking forward to going back to the Utah desert...Another friend has offered me a place to stay on her horse ranch there and I am excited to relax and mediate for the winter. Maybe I will work on my book about this journey...I am feeling more settled, and also beginning to get restless and wanting to move on again.
Seoul was very nice to visit, but I don't want to live there. Too many tall ugly buildings. I like wild places. My neighbor at Wat Phradhat Sri Chomtong gave me a map and suggested some places to visit on my stop-over, but I cleverly packed said information into my checked baggage which I could not access in Seoul (oops), so I spent the wee hours of the morning reading tourist information and studying the maps provided at the airport while the sun climbed out of bed and into a gorgeous cloud spotted blue sky. Just before I finished reading the literature, the women working at the tourist info counter arrived and helped me before they were officially open. I explained my interests, and she circled the main temples in down-town Seoul, wrote down the English language guided tour times where appliciable, and showed me a more remote old-style temple which I decided to visit first. She gave me a map book that included some essential Korean phrases (I tried to learn Thank you, but was not very successful) and a beautiful color booklette about Korean food including some recipies I'm excited to try. She even wrote "vegetarian" on a little paper for me. Very helpful!
I took the express bus into town, walked around the narrow streets and sleepy markets a little, found a small breakfast shop where I got a veggie sushi roll, miso soup, and some pickeled radish slices for 1000 Won (about a dollar/40 Bhat)! I felt pretty satisfied, but I bought and ate a second sushi roll because it was really yummie and cheap and I didn't know when I would next get the chance! This drew some funny looks from the women running the shop, but my tastebuds were happy. I then took another bus up a hill to a Mahayana temple with some Beautiful lotus ponds and coincidentally (synchronicitously?)arrived just in time for the mid-day prayer service. About 13 middle aged women were following a big mahayana monk in chanting, so I pulled up a mat and tried to do what they did. It was very different than the Therevadan morning and evening chanting I am used to. Much more rigorous (with standing and prostration meditation chanting as well as sitting!). I got tired!! funny...
Then I went and hiked up the "mountain" behind the temple (ele about 1800' I think) and down the other side to the subway. En route I met several very nice smiling korean people, including a man with a California tee-shirt on, so I asked him for directions to the subway. Turns out he did his grad work in Economics in the states and he was headed for the subway, too, so he helped me find it, as well as a yummie restaurant where I could find vegetarian bimbibap (spelling?)--a traditional korean dish with lots of veggies and pickeled seaweed and a fried egg over a bed of rice served with two kinds of kimchee (pickeled cabbage), one of which was too spicy for me to eat, even after 9 months in Thailand! Very yummie! Satisfied again with my meal, I bought two more veggie sushi rolls for an evening snack and headed back to the subway which I rode over to the royal palace (I forget which one). I arrived during the changing of the guard and marveled at the incredible number of enormous (2-4' diameter?) trees that went into the palace's construction. yikes! After wandering a third of the grounds and looking around in some of the ornately painted buildings, I ran out of time and left early to catch the train back to the airport to finish the long flight home to the states (spending 11 hours on the plane and arriving in LA 3 hours before I left Korea, thanks to the time difference and the international date line).
I am happy to be back on familiar soil and eating familiar food. Last time I was home, thai food still seemed like a tastey idea. This time around, if I have eaten my last Thai meal ever, I feel ok with that. ;) I'm very grateful to my friend for giving me space to relax, more than enough horses to ride, and even a few house and horse chores so I feel useful but not stressed. I am looking forward to going back to the Utah desert...Another friend has offered me a place to stay on her horse ranch there and I am excited to relax and mediate for the winter. Maybe I will work on my book about this journey...I am feeling more settled, and also beginning to get restless and wanting to move on again.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
back in the states and a bit overwhelmed
I've gotten about 11 hours of sleep total in the last 5 or 6 days--the homeward journey began at noon thursday a week ago when two fellow nuns drove me into Chiang Mai from Wat Phradhat Sri Chomtong (about 50 km/28-ish miles) to cancle my non-immigrant visa at immigration. I finished my Reiki 2 certification and got a ride to the bus station where I bought a first class ticket to Bangkok. This means there was Thai karaoke playing on the bus's TV, but only for a few hours and it wasn't ridiculously loud like on the dreaded VIP busses...I was in one of the 4 front seats above the driver so I had some extra legroom. It was a pretty sweet ride, really. I managed to sleep a couple hours, anyway. Then I ordered a police clearance from the Royal Thai Police Headquarters in Bangkok (required if you want to work with kids in some states and you've lived outside the country for more than one consecutive month), went and had a skirt taylored by a woman with a sewing machine set up on the sidewalk (fun communication adventure there--thank goodness for pictionary!), bought a CD/DVD/VCD/mp3 player (malls--blech!), and wandered the streets of bangkok for a couple hours, got a thai reflexology foot massage (home work, you know! good to refresh one's skills before returning to practice), and then it was time to catch the bus across town to the new airport.
The first leg of my BKK to LAX flight was a 5.5 hour trip to Seoul, South Korea with zero sleep. My neighbor at Wat Phradhat lived in Seoul for 3 years and kindly drew up a map and gave me some information, but I accidentally put it with my other papers and into my checked baggage it went! d'oh! So I went to the closed tourist info booth at the airport and grabbed some brochures and maps to look at as the sun rose over the trees outside the terminal window. By the time I finished perusing the brochures, the counter was open and the very energetic and kind counter lady helped me find some attractions I'm interested in. I went to a mahayana prayer service midday at a beautiful temple in the hills above Seoul after a $2 sushi breakfast with two big veggie rolls, a small bowl of miso soup, and a small bowl of pickled radish! suhweet! I then went to the royal palace, where I decided to sit and meditate for about 10 minutes. In that time, I estimate 6 or 8 people came and took my picture! Including one person with a fairly expensive sounding camera that took about 8 or 10 shots. I did not look up. I then wandered the streets of seoul a bit, took the subway to the train to Seoul's new international airport to fly to LA overnight--11 hours with probably 4 hours fitfully sleeping in travel class? The last leg of the journey was a walk to the airport bus to the metro green line to the blue line, walked two city blocks (a half mile?) to a bus that got me within about 1/4 mile from home. I dropped my stuff, headed out to dinner, and then stayed up till 3AM visiting with my dad and then getting orientated, slept 5 hours and that brings me to now.
phew. More when I recover the brain power to organize thoughts in some rational fashion.
The first leg of my BKK to LAX flight was a 5.5 hour trip to Seoul, South Korea with zero sleep. My neighbor at Wat Phradhat lived in Seoul for 3 years and kindly drew up a map and gave me some information, but I accidentally put it with my other papers and into my checked baggage it went! d'oh! So I went to the closed tourist info booth at the airport and grabbed some brochures and maps to look at as the sun rose over the trees outside the terminal window. By the time I finished perusing the brochures, the counter was open and the very energetic and kind counter lady helped me find some attractions I'm interested in. I went to a mahayana prayer service midday at a beautiful temple in the hills above Seoul after a $2 sushi breakfast with two big veggie rolls, a small bowl of miso soup, and a small bowl of pickled radish! suhweet! I then went to the royal palace, where I decided to sit and meditate for about 10 minutes. In that time, I estimate 6 or 8 people came and took my picture! Including one person with a fairly expensive sounding camera that took about 8 or 10 shots. I did not look up. I then wandered the streets of seoul a bit, took the subway to the train to Seoul's new international airport to fly to LA overnight--11 hours with probably 4 hours fitfully sleeping in travel class? The last leg of the journey was a walk to the airport bus to the metro green line to the blue line, walked two city blocks (a half mile?) to a bus that got me within about 1/4 mile from home. I dropped my stuff, headed out to dinner, and then stayed up till 3AM visiting with my dad and then getting orientated, slept 5 hours and that brings me to now.
phew. More when I recover the brain power to organize thoughts in some rational fashion.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Disrobed and done!
I'm officially disrobed. I did ok for the first half of the ceremony, but one of the monks said something to his neighbor (I think about the way I was holding my hands?) and laughed and I got confused and started crying...that's ok. It just means I still have work to do. :) My teacher was very supportive and the abbot isn't really phased by anything, so no biggie. I have begun offering little gifts and saying goodbyes and everyone has been really supportive. They all ask when I'm coming back and then send me off with well-wishes. Buddhists aren't too attached to much, so my going is just another phase in the cycle of life. The temple will adjust. Life goes on.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Free thinking mind
So I am a 27 year-old American-born woman, ordained as a therevadan nun in Thailand. I love reiki, baking, healing, helping, peace.
The time has come to return home and roll on into the next journey. Thank you all for your support. Grattitude at this level cannot be conveyed in words...you'll see it in my eyes when we next cross paths. much love, all! --Maechee (for another 5 days...) Mare :)
The time has come to return home and roll on into the next journey. Thank you all for your support. Grattitude at this level cannot be conveyed in words...you'll see it in my eyes when we next cross paths. much love, all! --Maechee (for another 5 days...) Mare :)
See it, Know it, Watch it go!
Great Dhamma book by Jeff Oliver. This Australian man has spent most of the last 11 years in the world of Vipassana meditation, ordained for 8 years while studying primarily in Burma, and now teaching all over the world. These are some quotes from his book I really liked:
Forgiveness Meditation:
In many ways, intentionally and unintentionally, I have caused harm and suffering to other beings.
I freely forgive myself.
May they be free of their suffering.
In many ways, intentionally or unintentionally, I have caused harm and suffering to myself.
I freely forgive myself.
May I be free from suffering.
In many ways, intentionally or unintentionally, I have been harmed by others.
I freely forgive them.
May we all be free from our suffering.
Questions to calm the mind and focus on the present moment reality:
What is happening now?
What am I doing now?
How do I feel now?
What's this?
One thing at a time:
While you're doing this,
don't worry about that,
while you're doing that,
don't worry about the next one,
one at a time.
See your mind worrying about the past, things that are gone.
See your mind worrying about the future, things that haven't happened yet.
See your mind and body in the present and relax.
Vipassana, A recipe for wisdom:
See it, means to pay attention to anything that naturally and predominantly occurs in your body and mind in the present moment.
Know it, means to try to understand whatever you pay attention to. If you don' t understand it at this time, you will later on. Keep trying, please be patient.
Watch it go, means to not only let it go, but to continue to observe and know how your phyical processes and mental states change, naturally.
Forgiveness Meditation:
In many ways, intentionally and unintentionally, I have caused harm and suffering to other beings.
I freely forgive myself.
May they be free of their suffering.
In many ways, intentionally or unintentionally, I have caused harm and suffering to myself.
I freely forgive myself.
May I be free from suffering.
In many ways, intentionally or unintentionally, I have been harmed by others.
I freely forgive them.
May we all be free from our suffering.
Questions to calm the mind and focus on the present moment reality:
What is happening now?
What am I doing now?
How do I feel now?
What's this?
One thing at a time:
While you're doing this,
don't worry about that,
while you're doing that,
don't worry about the next one,
one at a time.
See your mind worrying about the past, things that are gone.
See your mind worrying about the future, things that haven't happened yet.
See your mind and body in the present and relax.
Vipassana, A recipe for wisdom:
See it, means to pay attention to anything that naturally and predominantly occurs in your body and mind in the present moment.
Know it, means to try to understand whatever you pay attention to. If you don' t understand it at this time, you will later on. Keep trying, please be patient.
Watch it go, means to not only let it go, but to continue to observe and know how your phyical processes and mental states change, naturally.
All conditioned things are impermanent.
Whatever comes to be,
ceases to be;
this is a
natural
law.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Beauty of Almsround
I'm a bit confused, but well. The heart guides one way, the life is lived another. My conditioning from the last few years says this is not a good thing. My guts twist up just typing it...There is a lot more calm and love in general daily life as a result of continuing the practice here, though. The heart keeps patiently, yet insistently speaking Japan, Japan, JAPAN. I am to go and just let the journey unfold as I did here in Thailand. My teacher is still waiting there.
In the mean time, I have done another yanna course (I swore I wouldn't do another one 3 courses ago...) and I'm really enjoying being a penniless beggar (I made a promise not to use money two weeks ago and should technically have waited another two days to come do email, but my impatience is borrowing from the kind email lady...).
Almsround is SOOOO awesome! I get to walk about a mile--mindfully, acknowledging the step of each bare foot as "right goes thus, left goes thus," this takes about an hour. I go by myself in the quiet of the early morning, leaving the temple just after dawn at about 6:30AM, I am free to explore Chomtong Village's nooks and crannies. I have "discovered" several cute tiny schools (wondering if they need English teachers?), many beautiful little canals, and at one end of town, the houses open up to rice fields in the forground of some very beautiful lush karst mountains off in the distance... It's nice to get the exercise, be by myself for a change, feel the freedom of choice in at least one aspect of my day, and have the opportunity to offer blessings to the almsgivers. Such a beautiful process. I actually have more faith in Buddhism seeing it practiced by the laity than by the sangha in the temple. Is this as sad as it feels like it should be? anyway, progressing on.
Whatever we think, speak, and take action towards is what manifests. It's nothing personal. Drop the ego. Live in peace. One breath at a time.
In the mean time, I have done another yanna course (I swore I wouldn't do another one 3 courses ago...) and I'm really enjoying being a penniless beggar (I made a promise not to use money two weeks ago and should technically have waited another two days to come do email, but my impatience is borrowing from the kind email lady...).
Almsround is SOOOO awesome! I get to walk about a mile--mindfully, acknowledging the step of each bare foot as "right goes thus, left goes thus," this takes about an hour. I go by myself in the quiet of the early morning, leaving the temple just after dawn at about 6:30AM, I am free to explore Chomtong Village's nooks and crannies. I have "discovered" several cute tiny schools (wondering if they need English teachers?), many beautiful little canals, and at one end of town, the houses open up to rice fields in the forground of some very beautiful lush karst mountains off in the distance... It's nice to get the exercise, be by myself for a change, feel the freedom of choice in at least one aspect of my day, and have the opportunity to offer blessings to the almsgivers. Such a beautiful process. I actually have more faith in Buddhism seeing it practiced by the laity than by the sangha in the temple. Is this as sad as it feels like it should be? anyway, progressing on.
Whatever we think, speak, and take action towards is what manifests. It's nothing personal. Drop the ego. Live in peace. One breath at a time.
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