So yesterday was the two month mark of my ordination and I finally spoke to my teacher for the first time in about 5 weeks--he went to India with 89 other people related to the temple, then to Chiang Rai in the North for an annual monk's confession event. He said I am looking a lot better, so that was nice to hear. He happened to catch me on a good day, but as I learn better what is expected of me, have settled into a reasonably consistent but not stifflingly mundane routine, and am practicing more (as I came here to do!), I am feeling a lot better. I was happy to hear it shows.
I took the opportunity while my teacher and most of the translators were gone to travel a bit with a long-term Thai meditator and an international meditator (nuns are not allowed to travel alone--initially irritating for the habitually independent woman-traveler I am...but based on the fact that a/some nuns were raped while traveling in the Buddha's time, he forbade it. The custom is still followed today). We went to Uttaradit province in north-central Thailand via a 7 hour third class train journey. Details on my long neglected blog: mareinthailand.blogspot.com.
I went to Uttaradit to help the head monk there, Phra Sutep, prepare for his forest meditation center's opening ceremony. My companions and I met two women meditators from Bangkok who have been Phra Sutep's students for 20+ years(!) and we practiced together for 5 days. I was the youngest member of our party and have the least meditation experience, but I am ordained, so Phra Sutep put me in charge of leading evening chanting, ringing the wake up bell, and keeping time during meditation periods. I was a little unsure of myself, but the energy from 5 women practicing together was such a blessing and they were all so patient and kind. It felt good to return to a position of leadership after feeling so down on my self for so long...
I learned a lot practicing there. Phra Sutep is Thai, but he's an American citizen--his home temple is Wat Thai Hawaii in Honolulu--so his English is very good. He taught me that self-forgiveness MUST come first in this growth process, or the practice cannot proceed. He taught me perseverance--the mind must be cleaned again and again, again and again, again and again! He responded kindly to my ridiculous emotional breakdown over the second day's breakfast--rice soup with pork. Was that ever a cultural lesson (one I am still processing a month later...)!
Phra Sutep's home town is a small village about 30 km from the city of Uttaradit. It's very hot and dry and consequently the farming community is poor (as with much of rural Thailand in the central plains). Some of the skinniest cows I've seen in my life browsed fields of picked over dried rice straw, vainly seeking vegetation with available calories. Intermittant fields of Green corn and yams came up here and there amidst the dry rice paddies and brown teak forests, but given that many times per day, when we turned on our own water taps, nothing happened but a sad sucking of air and a faint hint of gurgling, I don't know where the water comes from for such thirsty crops (or perhaps the thirsty crops accounts for the empty taps?).
The kindness of the people ran deep. They prepared ample delicious food for us served family style twice each day, probably driving to market in Uttaradit for most of the fruits and vegetables. Family style means everyone gets their own rice bowl and selects their meal a few bites at a time from various dishes in the center of the table. When I came back and reported to the abbot about the struggle I have been having with food cravings and overeating, he commented no wonder I looked fat! (or so the translator said...heavier than I was when I got here, which was a lot thinner than when I left home from a month of observing 8 precepts, spending frequent sleepless nights on buses and 3rd class trains, walking a fair bit to see sights, and occasionally eating only one meal per day) It's a lot easier to mindlessly stuff one's self when a community of 5-8 people are eating from the same endlessly refilling source. I guess my body betrayed my gluttony! He recommended I eat only as many spoonfulls as my age. I have not been counting, but my first reaction was a desire to ask for a serving spoon to eat with! Turns out, I begin feeling full at about 19 or 20 bites and often continue on to 25 or 27 anyway....then sometimes have fruit. But counting and becoming aware has really helped (the first day I counted, I ate 45 bites!). Eating less at lunch actually makes it easier not to eat in the evenings! Counter-intuitive, but true...
After Uttaradit, we went to Phitchit for one night to visit my friends there and pay respect the buddha image which supposedly has psychic powers. It definitely has powerful energy and is one of my favorite places to meditate in this country. I was glad to see it again. The heat in ugly old Phitchit was opressive and sticky--it rained hard that evening and we left at dawn the next day. I don't know how I lived there for 6 weeks last year! Perhaps the heat abates with the approach of the rainy season in June? Seasons change pretty quickly here. It took maybe 2 or 3 weeks for Chiang Mai to transition from friggin' cold to warm to bloody hot. Cold showers are not yet a blessing, but they are certainly tollerable--keeping myself clean is no longer a dreaded event.
After a 10 hour return third-class train journey, my Thai companion and I went to visit a temple in the forest in the northern outskirts of Chiang Mai where she lived as a meditator for 2 years. Gorgeous! No time for elaborate delicious descriptions, but the Brilliant white temples and salas were bejeweled with mirror-finish tiles in emerald, sapphire, ruby, silver, and gold. Naga lined the staircases (think a cross among a snake, an eel, a lizard, and a dragon, usually with 1, 3, or 5 heads!), and they have the largest "Buddha footprint" shrine I have seen yet--4 prints on top of one another in an 18' by 9' area, pressed into the lava rock, the biggest one was about 12' long, the smallest maybe 5'? I don't have a lot of faith in Thailand's footprint shrines, though I saw one yesterday that was about right for a human and supposedly made by an arahant that was the last abbot just 30 years ago or so...a twinge of belief was felt there.
Our visit to her temple coincided with one of Thailand's biggest Buddhist festivals: Makkra Bucha Day, celebrating a day in the Buddha's time where 1250 monks spontaneously gathered in one place without prior notice to hear him speak the Dhamma. Part of the massive carnival-style festivities was an overnight pilgrimage up the 18km switchbacked road from a temple in the farming flats below to my friend's temple in the forest. When the local man drove it to arrive, I clung to the "oh sh*t" handle for dear life, praying to survive the journey, and reflecting that this clinging was not very Buddhist of me... I could not believe we were going to walk all that way in one night! Turns out, about 500-800 people participated and I think most of us made it the whole way! Dragging a 3' diameter headed, 5' bodied drum on a cart, no less! the beat helped keep our energy going and pulling the two 250' ropes attached to the cart gave us purpose and motivation to continue. Frequent rest stops for nescafe and ovaltine, various colors of sugar water, thai iced tea, and orange juice were very welcome. Ice water was also served in individually sealed plastic cups from the beds of pick-up trucks that played leap-frog with our marching party. Rice porriage was available for lay people on 5 precepts. (*twinge of irrational jealousy...*) Squeezing to one side of the narrow road to allow traffic to pass was interesting. I was one of less than 20 I estimate that did the walk barefoot. Surprisingly, it wasn't too bad till we crested the final hill and the temple came into view. Something about knowing the end of the journey was approaching allowed my worn feet to begin complaining the last half km. The abbot had lead the parade and met everyone individually to give out prayer flag/hankerchief-things with devas (angels) on them. Being pressed into such a croud was quite the experience, especially challenging for me as one of my precepts is not to touch men! After paying respect to their main Buddha image and receiving a blessing from the abbot, my Thai friend and I collapsed to enjoy breakfast and a beautiful sunrise.
What a trip!
ok, back to meditation. I hope all beings are happy and well! ayu, vanno, sukkham, balam!Maechee Mare :)
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