10 days of breath at Suan Mokk International

It was eerie how easily I returned to this society. How much Bangkok felt like just another manifestation of home for me. I just finished my first endeavor back in Thailand: another 10 day meditation retreat. :) This one, at Buddhassa Bhikku's Suan Mokk International Center near Surathani in the south, began at 4 AM and incorporated walking and sitting meditation, an hour of yoga in the morning, multiple dhamma talks and meditation instruction each day, evening Buddhist chanting, and two opportunities per day for soaking in the natural mineral hotsprings on the temple grounds (wow!). Two yummie thai meals and hot chocolate in the evenings were our physical sustainance. Silent community and the company of many monks, nuns, and experienced practitioners were our mental/spiritual sustainance.

The 5 meditation halls were open air and one had only a bare sand floor. We sat on simple meditation cushions on burlap sacks--the sand was much easier on the hips and ankles than the concrete I am used to. In the evenings, we did a group walking meditation under the starry sky around a large pond teeming with life--fish, insects, frogs, snakes.

They taught that peace is within, in the same place as aggitation and suffering and does not depend on forests, temples, or shrines. As a suffering person who has been seeking reprieve by changing my geography repeatedly over the last 5 years, this was big news! They also stressed the Buddhist Law of Dependent Origination (aka the Wheel of Becoming) and not attaching to "I" and "Mine". Our individualistic attachments to perceived feelings from the 6 sense doors and their objects create the "crack" in reality where suffering perpetuates--where the false, dualistic "good vs. bad" world-view springs from. This clarified for me why guarding the 6 sense doors is important, so that was very useful.

I also learned that Life is a Process. There are no things. I have had an intellectual understanding of this for some time, now, but it always left me feeling empty and meaningless--sometimes quite depressed. No wisdom. For some reason hearing it here and at this time in my life, "Life is a Process" helped me very much. It's not that nothing is real, just that everything is constantly changing. Now I need to sit and observe myself to realize this experientially.

I also found here something I already knew: I did not maintain my walking and sitting practice well enough at home in the states! My concentration is not very strong at the moment. We studied anapanasati all 10 days and the last two days I got very restless. I did my best to just sit still and observe and generate metta--loving-kindness towards all beings. It was challenging. I feel I found better results with vipassana/constant mindfulness and will return to that practice now. I am looking forward to returning to Wat Sri Chomtong next week.

May all beings be well and happy!